his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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