is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
