found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
