I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my poor anus
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize