haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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