Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
