I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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