like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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