How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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