did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
