I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
