Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can I color on your dick again?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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