I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
