I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
being pregnant is like rehab
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
