So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
