there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize