sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
