i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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