I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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