i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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