Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
