I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
