Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
