Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
