you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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