i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is my gift to your gina
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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