We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
