well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
