You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
