worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
