You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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