Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize