she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
where are my eyebrows?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
