He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everyone says I win the strip club
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
