Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
