I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
