Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will be naked everywhere
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The air taste purple.
Randomize
