I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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