glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
one might say we're banned from that church
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
