The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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