she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
