i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize