i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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