Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
