whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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