watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You pole danced in your parka.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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