would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
