GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
