she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
