just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They have beer where we have blood.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
