Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
