Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
