Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
