Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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