he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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